Might be worth getting an Appartment here. huh?
You save 69 on What?!?Sunday, August 24, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
time for a break?
Been working too hard for a long stretch and without a break proper. Am beginning to feel the fatigue. Started to put down these thoughts a few weeks back. this is not a part of any forward or any the such, just from my own experience. If you have any that you want added here, please feel free to leave them in the comments and I will put it up with due credits. the following is not in any particular order again.
So You know it’s time to take a break when
1) You are pushing a trolley down the aisle in the super market and you search for the horn and brake.
2) You look at the supermarket bill and it reminds of coding and you are not even a techie.
3) You are out walking in the evening by the park and you make a mental note that you need to switch on the headlights soon
4) You hear about the Gujarat Bomb blasts and your first concern is about the remote servers and its connectivity and not the site engineers manning those servers
5) You hear about the next set of blasts and you check if your news application is working fine.
6) You dream about excel sheets and numbers
7) You catch yourself trying to draw, by filling those little boxes in excel with colour.
8) When you hear that there’s a Jar of Cookies on the table, all you think is of who is going to download the jars and install them on the servers
(I first wrote that as cookie of Jars – that’s it! I Need a bucking freak!)
9) You hear that one of your engineers has fallen down and hurt himself, and your first reaction is who will take care of the work when he is gone.
10) Somebody in your team has announced she is pregnant and your first question is “when are you starting your maternity leave.
11) The Girls in the team call you out for a dinner and party, you’d rather be at home browsing the web for more info or vegetating on the couch with a drink in hand
12) You feel more at home on your office chair than your bed
13) You miss your multiple coffees on weekends – Caffeine Withdrawal
14) You miss the annoying buzz of the air conditioner during weekends
15) You keep checking your phone and Blackberry every few minutes for messages
16) You imagine you hear you phone ringing or your Blackberry buzzing. (The latter is one of the reasons why I am a Domesticated Bachelor only)
17) You wake up, and your first thought is you have to be in office before nine, even if you have a horrible hangover.
18) You are confused if a client has no complaints and compliments your team on the job well done and you wonder how it all went right.
19) Once a voracious reader, now you notice that your reading is all about Clients, Managers, Management etc.
20) You don’t get dumb Sardarji (no offence to the group) jokes or silly Knock Knock jokes but you catch onto the Dilbert strips fast enough.
21) You see a film and you think of how you can monetize its various content pieces.
22) Your have only office jokes to say when in another group. Refer point 20.
23) Half the boys and girls in your team are afraid of you and you don’t know it.
24) Your mom calls you to remind you that you have to pay for the books you ordered and you tell her to put up the request on the workflow management system.
25) You look at your tv and it resembles your laptop display.
26) Your laptop has 7 mail windows open, 11 Tabs open on Firefox (only two of those are personal and that’s GMAIL and the Blogspot) and the reminder list has 34 items and the oldest is 15 weeks over due. (I just counted & the oldest one is to buy the curtains Mom had asked for more than 3 months back)
27) You keep looking at your Outlook every 2 minutes to check for mails and you curse if you don’t see any mails.
28) You have more fun going through a Root Cause Analysis for a system crash than reading Playboy
29) You are at home, watching a reality show, and the host asks a question to the viewers and you drum the answer out on your dining table thinking it’s a keyboard.
30) Taking breaks is – either a coffee & Ciggie break or forwarding mails or walking to the floor above you and back.
31) You don’t go out for lunch or you actually forget to eat. I never dreamt that I would ever forget to eat – unbelievable to me. You will understand if you see me… I love to eat.
32) You depend on Microsoft outlook to remind you to pay your bills, Call Mom and Dad, write to your bro and best friend.
33) You spend more time on Linkedin rather than on Facebook or Orkut.
34) You are having a peaceful day at work and you are wondering why there are no issues coming in
35) You worry about leaving early, because you think some issue might crop up as soon as you leave
36) You are happiest when you are dealing with issues.
37) Someone compliments you on your work and you wonder, why they are complimenting you
38) You set your watch ahead by 15 minutes
39) You ensure your shoes shine better than anyone else’s in your team
40) You find punctuation marks a hindrance to communication
41) You find that you are more alert at night than in the morning.
42) You find that you have forgotten your way around in your hometown.
43) Your Tech head tells you – “oh yeah what you want is that the crap should be put there and the other shit should transfer it in time” and you actually understand what he said
44) You are more worried about your company Revenues, profits and costs and you forget your own tax returns
45) You want to put your wastepaper basket on your table and label it “IN”
46) Your colleague invites you for a party and you tell her that you are not in a mood for a party (She is inviting you five days in advance)
47) You eat your lunch at your desk .
48) Every second word you use is a swear word.
49) You are at office at 9.45 PM writing this tripe and pushing yourself to make it 50 reasons to know when it’s time to take a break! Go home already!
in need of a break
'Bye
Bachelor
So You know it’s time to take a break when
1) You are pushing a trolley down the aisle in the super market and you search for the horn and brake.
2) You look at the supermarket bill and it reminds of coding and you are not even a techie.
3) You are out walking in the evening by the park and you make a mental note that you need to switch on the headlights soon
4) You hear about the Gujarat Bomb blasts and your first concern is about the remote servers and its connectivity and not the site engineers manning those servers
5) You hear about the next set of blasts and you check if your news application is working fine.
6) You dream about excel sheets and numbers
7) You catch yourself trying to draw, by filling those little boxes in excel with colour.
8) When you hear that there’s a Jar of Cookies on the table, all you think is of who is going to download the jars and install them on the servers
(I first wrote that as cookie of Jars – that’s it! I Need a bucking freak!)
9) You hear that one of your engineers has fallen down and hurt himself, and your first reaction is who will take care of the work when he is gone.
10) Somebody in your team has announced she is pregnant and your first question is “when are you starting your maternity leave.
11) The Girls in the team call you out for a dinner and party, you’d rather be at home browsing the web for more info or vegetating on the couch with a drink in hand
12) You feel more at home on your office chair than your bed
13) You miss your multiple coffees on weekends – Caffeine Withdrawal
14) You miss the annoying buzz of the air conditioner during weekends
15) You keep checking your phone and Blackberry every few minutes for messages
16) You imagine you hear you phone ringing or your Blackberry buzzing. (The latter is one of the reasons why I am a Domesticated Bachelor only)
17) You wake up, and your first thought is you have to be in office before nine, even if you have a horrible hangover.
18) You are confused if a client has no complaints and compliments your team on the job well done and you wonder how it all went right.
19) Once a voracious reader, now you notice that your reading is all about Clients, Managers, Management etc.
20) You don’t get dumb Sardarji (no offence to the group) jokes or silly Knock Knock jokes but you catch onto the Dilbert strips fast enough.
21) You see a film and you think of how you can monetize its various content pieces.
22) Your have only office jokes to say when in another group. Refer point 20.
23) Half the boys and girls in your team are afraid of you and you don’t know it.
24) Your mom calls you to remind you that you have to pay for the books you ordered and you tell her to put up the request on the workflow management system.
25) You look at your tv and it resembles your laptop display.
26) Your laptop has 7 mail windows open, 11 Tabs open on Firefox (only two of those are personal and that’s GMAIL and the Blogspot) and the reminder list has 34 items and the oldest is 15 weeks over due. (I just counted & the oldest one is to buy the curtains Mom had asked for more than 3 months back)
27) You keep looking at your Outlook every 2 minutes to check for mails and you curse if you don’t see any mails.
28) You have more fun going through a Root Cause Analysis for a system crash than reading Playboy
29) You are at home, watching a reality show, and the host asks a question to the viewers and you drum the answer out on your dining table thinking it’s a keyboard.
30) Taking breaks is – either a coffee & Ciggie break or forwarding mails or walking to the floor above you and back.
31) You don’t go out for lunch or you actually forget to eat. I never dreamt that I would ever forget to eat – unbelievable to me. You will understand if you see me… I love to eat.
32) You depend on Microsoft outlook to remind you to pay your bills, Call Mom and Dad, write to your bro and best friend.
33) You spend more time on Linkedin rather than on Facebook or Orkut.
34) You are having a peaceful day at work and you are wondering why there are no issues coming in
35) You worry about leaving early, because you think some issue might crop up as soon as you leave
36) You are happiest when you are dealing with issues.
37) Someone compliments you on your work and you wonder, why they are complimenting you
38) You set your watch ahead by 15 minutes
39) You ensure your shoes shine better than anyone else’s in your team
40) You find punctuation marks a hindrance to communication
41) You find that you are more alert at night than in the morning.
42) You find that you have forgotten your way around in your hometown.
43) Your Tech head tells you – “oh yeah what you want is that the crap should be put there and the other shit should transfer it in time” and you actually understand what he said
44) You are more worried about your company Revenues, profits and costs and you forget your own tax returns
45) You want to put your wastepaper basket on your table and label it “IN”
46) Your colleague invites you for a party and you tell her that you are not in a mood for a party (She is inviting you five days in advance)
47) You eat your lunch at your desk .
48) Every second word you use is a swear word.
49) You are at office at 9.45 PM writing this tripe and pushing yourself to make it 50 reasons to know when it’s time to take a break! Go home already!
in need of a break
'Bye
Bachelor
Monday, August 11, 2008
Before the Domestication
Before the process of domestication had started these are a few things I wish had been put across to the other party. I hope “Man”-kind can benefit from this now. This has been inspired by a lot of old email forwards and empirical instances. The following is not in any particular order, just reworked some old stuff and also added on to them
Ladies note:
2. Watching Porn is not a perversion
3. If you don’t like what we wear to office everyday, then start laying out what you want us to wear on the bed, every morning while we shower.
4. We do not like to hear about how good your ex-boyfriend was. Whatever YOU say, he IS a LOSER! (If you like the way he hung his towel or smiled why did you leave him in the first place?)
5. Don’t treat us like crap. If you can dish it out, you should be ready to take it too.
6. We too liked to be hugged and kissed spontaneously
7. If we say you are beautiful, we say it because we mean it. Not because we are trying to cover up something.
8. Besides we wouldn’t be with you, if you weren’t beautiful or pretty
9. If you are at that time of the month and have cramps, lower back pain etc. just tell us its that time of the month and nothing more. We don’t want the details of your flows. It’s a lil scary for us.
10. If we say you are beautiful then accept it and don’t argue.
11. If you think you have put on weight, don’t ask us. Use a weighing scale. That’s what they are for. Spare us.
12. We don’t shave our pits and arms and legs. So don’t even go there.
13. Don’t ever ask us for practicing make up on us. That’s what your girlfriends are for.
14. If you have a headache for more than a month, you need to see a doc or you need to move out.
15. Yes we do fantasize about the big-boobed girl on the TV and its nothing beyond that.
16. There is no school for husbands and we wouldn’t go to one even if there had been one. (read Wendy Holden’s School for Husbands, will help you too)
17. Don’t assume what we’d like to eat and make it, ask us. At least once in a while. And that goes for what we’d like to do or where we’d like to go as well.
18. Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh when we believe you.
19. If we buy a gift out of the blue, its because we liked it and thought that it will look good on you or something like that. Don’t try and figure out a reason for it and get mad at us.
20. If we say we have had a bad day at work and we don’t expect you to keep asking about it. We say it because we want to be left alone. Period
‘ Bye
Bachelor
After I posted this, I remembered the MOST important of them all:
If you have to tell us something, tell it upfront, dont hint, dont use examples, dont go about it in a roundabout way - we know only black and white.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
The Travails Start
I had been meaning to write this as a series in my regular blog, which I haven’t touched for a couple of years now, but have paid the premium subscriptions for it till about 2010 July or so. Well that’s the Bachelor for you.
To introduce myself; am a domesticated bachelor, pushing the wrong side of 30 with about 2 years after it, with good taste in food, clothes, (can make a very good selection of clothes and jewelry for the fairer sex but have an acute disability when I dress up), able to listen, can cry in public, Geographically challenged and loads more. Domesticated Bachelor is more or less an Oxymoron and that “oxymorn-ness” does manifest in me, like I can be extremely tidy when I go about it, but I am MESSY most of the time.
Well more about me and how I became a Domesticated Bachelor in the future.
Right now, am a bit bothered by the spot of cleaning that I have had to do, ended up having a religious discussion with Old Monk who then suggested that I make something to satiate our hunger.
Remember I am a bachelor. I go to the kitchen and find nothing in there. I had been out of town for the weekend, so I haven’t stocked up. The fridge holds the usual stock of drinks and cheese and chocolates and butter and the such. And in the midst of all this one solitary egg. Wasn’t sure when this egg had come in, but pretty sure that if this one had been hatched, the result would have either been laying eggs or have had ended up on someone’s dinner table long ago. Middle school science lessons come back to mind and the egg floats in the mug of water confirming my suspicions. The Egg is carefully taken and given a respectful burial in the drain in front of my house and I quickly say a prayer in its honour and its misfortune of not having been able to be of any use to anybody.
So the Bachelor, (did I tell you that that’s me?) comes back to the living room and has another discussion with Old Monk and decides its time for food for the ear and mind, if not for the tummy. So I pop in a cd of Old Love songs. Heard Killing me softly by Johnny Mathis and Follow me by Uncle Kracker when Old Monk decides that its not appropriate as both of us might end up in an emotional mess! So we pop in a VCD of Mattannur Shankarankutty Marar. Click this to see the maestro in action! It’s the Elanjithara Melam which is played at the Thrissur Pooram that we are listening to. Aah. Old Monk is happy and so am I. In between I think Old Monk is getting the upper hand in our discussions. Nevertheless with the strains of the Chendamelam filling up the house, I decide to make something to satiate my hunger. To hell with Old Monk.
I look around and find one onion, two shriveled green chillies that have acquired a yellow-brown hue and some old Soya meat chunks. So what I do is, I take all the ingredients required for garam masala, enough quantity to cook a half kg chicken curry. Pounded the ingredients by hand with a small mortar and pestle – not ground. I put 1/3rd of it into a bowl of water and a handful of Soya chunks and boiled it. Then sliced the onions, and not so fresh chillies and sautéed them in a liberal amount of Butter. (mmmm Old Monk is gonna love this) I was lucky to get half a tomato too, half because the other half had become soft and soggy, but this was a big un and would serve my purpose. So I added the pounded masala, a bit of chilli powder, turmeric (never forget turmeric in any preparation – it cleanses, is a good strong and natural antibiotic) a bit of coriander powder, salt to taste and a couple of pinches of garam masala powder, then follow it with the tomatoes which have been chopped into nice little cubes. Sautee them till the tomatoes become a loose mass and you can see its oil draining. (the oil was a lil too much and I cant say – will work out an extra 10 minutes tomorrow to take it off because I don’t do it at all) all this while the Marar has been tightening his rhythm on the drums and I am caught up in that too, forgetting about Old Monk. I then go to apologize to Old Monk and quickly get back to the stove, and now add the soya chunks which are cooked well by now. The water used for boiling the chunks should be just about enough that there wont be any water left. (I cannot give exact measurements for anything, I go with instinct and feel). I then add the chunks and make a good dry stir fry. The aroma is extremely good and I serve it to Old Monk with a generous helping of Puck’s Cream Cheese. Hmmmm so many calories and my double chin and waistline is starting to go southward and my back is complaining too. Well to cut a long story short, the Marar kept me and Old Monk company while we polished off this delicious snack. And now Old Monk has left, and I feel sleepy.
The next time I make something I will ensure I have pics too. That will bepossible as long as Old Monk or any of his brothers don’t decide to drop in.
I have become deeply religious now, after becoming single again, spending a lot of time with Old Monk and Christian Brothers, discussing a lot of spiritual things. We plan to widen our circle soon.
Right now its well past mid night and I am off to sleep on the enlightening talks Old Monk has given me. Burp!
(note: need to get a supply of Antacids)
G’Nite
The Bachelor!
PS> will do up the site soon, or even might shift to the regular blog where both the Domesticated Bachelor and the owner will stay in harmony. Old Monk will ensure that!
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